A parent can play a pivotal role in helping a child develop a positive self-image. Children don’t always recognize their own strengths, especially when they’re caught up in feelings of rejection or self-doubt. They may need someone who knows and loves them to help them see what they cannot yet see in themselves.
His mother could make a conscious effort to point out his strong points and the qualities that make him likable. Perhaps he’s thoughtful, funny, creative, loyal, helpful, or a good listener. The key is to be specific and genuine: “I noticed how you included your cousin in the game today. That was thoughtful of you,” or “You have a wonderful sense of humor. You make people laugh!”
These aren’t empty compliments. They help a child recognize concrete examples of his own positive qualities and begin to build a more balanced picture of himself.
When he insists that nobody likes him, his mother can gently remind him of the qualities that make him a good friend and a valuable person. She can help him recall moments when others enjoyed his company, appreciated his help, or sought him out. Rather than simply saying, “Of course everyone likes you,” she can help him discover evidence that challenges his all-or-nothing thinking.
Over time, these conversations can help him internalize a different message: I have qualities that make me likable. I have something to offer. Even when someone doesn’t include me, it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with me.
Ultimately, the goal is to help him develop an inner voice that recognizes his strengths, treats him with kindness, and doesn’t automatically interpret every disappointment as rejection.
When parents consistently help children see the good in themselves, they give them something far more lasting than reassurance: the beginnings of a belief in their own worth. And that belief can become the turning point—the moment a child starts to genuinely like himself, rather than waiting for everyone else to prove that he is likable.